Unofficial Wreck

My friends, I am a nervous wreck. School starts in less than two weeks, and I am already a wreck. I am such a worrier. I just worry about everything. School is no exception. In fact, it's one of the things I worry about the most. Will I be able to find my classes? What if the professor calls on me? I don't know anything, so if he calls on me, I'm afraid he'll be deeply disappointed. How hard is this class going to be? What if I can't find a seat? Am I going to have to talk to people? I really don't like talking to people. Please don't require us to prepare and present projects. I will throw up. I swear, I will. This is the continuous monologue of my mind on Day 1 of school. And all the days following, right up until the last day of classes. Pathetic, right? It is, it's okay. Go ahead and say it. "You are lame, Anna. Lame." I've accepted it, so it's all good. Except when it's not, because I will still worry 24/7.

If I'm freaking out this much before school even starts, I wonder what's going to happen when I'm actually at school. I'm guessing we'll get some nausea and increased heart rate. Possibly fever. Who knows? It's a crap shoot - anything could happen.

I just don't handle change very well. I am a creature of habit if there ever was one. I get into my schedule, and I do not vary. At all. For example, I take the same route to my classes each day, I sit in the same seat, I use the same pen, I use the same bathroom, I use the same testing center -  I mean, it's gotten a little out of hand. One time there was some constructiony stuff messing up my route to my Intro to Fiction class, and I just about flipped. Really. And when someone sits in my spot - ugh. There is nothing I hate more than a vicious seat stealer (of course they're vicious. Why else would they decide to sit in someone else's seat halfway through the semester! That is just malicious. I don't know what kind of creep would do that). It freaks me out. And then I'm freaking out about whether I'm sitting in someone else's seat, because I don't want to be that seat stealer everyone hates, even though I'm only doing it out of necessity. And I only use the testing center at the Marriot Allied Health building, because that's the only one I've ever used. A friend told me that there's a very nice testing center in the Social Sciences building, but I've never seen it because I use the Marriot Allied Health testing center. Which is a good 10 minute walk up the side of a mountain from the Institute building where I chill. And the Social Sciences building is about 2 minutes away. Like, across the street and that's it. I don't know what I'm going to do this semester since I don't have any classes up at the Marriot Allied Health building. I guess I'm going to have to find a new testing center. Even thinking about that makes me feel a little sick. You see? I really am a mess.

I am an un[OFFICIAL] wreck.