Unofficial Success

And another Single Awareness Day goes down in the books. For the 19th year running, I have had a successful year. I am single, and I am aware. You can't break a streak like this one!

It seems the Universe is dead set on convincing me I'm single. Which is unnecessary, because I totally know I'm single. For some reason, it's not getting that. 

Example 1

So a couple weekends ago, Lizzie and I had the pleasure of partying, and no party is complete without chocolate. Am I right, am I right? So we bought some Dove chocolates. You know, the ones with the corny/inspiring sentiments on the wrappers. It being near Valentine's Day, they had the heart shaped ones out. Naturally, we bought that kind. Chocolate is good, but heart shaped chocolate is even better. Everyone knows that. So here we are, with our chocolate, chilling in my room, listening to 1D and chatting. I open one of my chocolates and read the wrapper, expecting something beautiful. It says, and I quote, "Be your own Valentine." Wow. Thanks for that. I mean, what do you even say to that? I know I'm single, no need to go rubbing my face in it. Lizzie also got one that said, "Chocolate will always be your Valentine." Honestly? Who is in charge of this marketing campaign? Fire them! Either that or give them a raise. Because actually, those messages are a little depressing, and inspired me to drown my sorrows in more chocolate.

Example 2

Emily and I were watching The Bachelor on Hulu (I know, it's ranked on the list of dumbest television shows ever created, but it's also awesome). During the commercials, we kept getting eHarmony ads. Like they're trying to tell us, "Hey! You're watching The Bachelor! You're obviously single! Allow us to help you out, there!" No thanks, eHarmony. And what is it to you if I watch The Bachelor?

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. I don't even want to be in a relationship at this point. Which is why all these singleness reminders seem a bit ridiculous. So listen up, Universe. I'm going on a mission. In less than two weeks. I know I'm single, and that's the way I want it.

And in light of that, it's another un[OFFICIAL] success!