Unofficial Missionary

Go ahead. Reread that title. Came a little bit out of left field, didn't it? You aren't alone, friend. It came out of left field for me too.

*A Preface To The Story*

I never wanted to be a missionary. Not even as a kid. Never. I'm a huge homebody, and about as shy as they come. Just those two reasons by themselves make a very compelling argument to NOT go on a mission. And I was always very glad to have been a girl, because that meant a mission was not my obligation. If the fancy suited me, sure, I could go. If not, I would be just as happy staying right here where I'm comfortable. And I'd always hoped I'd be married before I was 21, so a mission wouldn't even be something I'd need to worry about. I wouldn't even have to think about it. Fast forward to the October General Conference of this year, and something changed.

When I first heard about the change in age, it took my completely by surprise. As I'm sure it did for basically everyone. I couldn't think straight for the rest of the day. It was just, just crazy. I could not believe it. And then, after the shock wore off, I thought, "Huh." Now, that may not seem like much. A "Huh" is hardly basis for a huge, life changing decision. But that little "Huh" was just enough for me to think about a mission - something I never planned on doing.

Eventually, that "Huh" grew into a "Hmmm", which in turn grew into a "Maybe". At this point, I thought I'd better involve the Lord in my decision process. I prayed, I read my scriptures, I prayed, I prayed some more, I read my scriptures - you get the idea. Lots of studying. But I really didn't get much to encourage the "Maybe" into something more. I decided to fast, and ask my Dad for a blessing. I fasted, I got my blessing. I was really hoping in the blessing, the Lord would come right out and say YES or NO. Just like that. Unfortunately, things rarely work that way. What I did get, however, was a promise. In my blessing, I was told that I would get an answer, and that I would know what the Lord wanted me to do. I took that to mean, "Keep praying and reading those scriptures". Not the answer I wanted, but hey, it'd work. 

Fast forward two weeks (in which time I continued praying and reading my scriptures - to no avail). I'm still in "Maybe" mode, trying to figure out what to do. It was a Sunday night. I was laying in bed, about ready to sleep, when I remembered I hadn't read my scriptures yet. It was late, I was tired. Instead of getting out my quad like I usually do, I settled for my iPod. I opened my scriptures app, scrolled to the Book of Mormon, and clicked. Instead of The Book of Mormon though, I got the Doctrine and Covenants. Slightly irritated, I went back, tried again, and ended up in Doctrine and Covenants again. Fine, I think to myself, Doctrine and Covenants it is. I scroll down to a random section (31, for those of you who were wondering - I almost went with 25, but decided to keep going). I happened to glance at the little section summary, and read, "Thomas B. Marsh is called to preach the gospel". How very odd, I thought to myself. Looking back, I think, What a dunce! It should have been immediately obvious to me what was happening. By the time I got to the third verse though, I got the message. It says, "Life up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation." And just in case I didn't get the message, verse 13 says, "Be faithful unto the end, and lo, I am with you. These words are not of man nor of men, but of me, even Jesus Christ, your Redeemer, by the will of the Father. Amen." You really can't mistake the meaning there. By now, the "Maybe" has grown into a full-blown "YES!" 

So there you have it, friends. I am going on a mission. The papers are (almost) in, and I'm ready to go! Isn't it crazy, how the Lord works? He's got a plan. And this is part of His plan for me. Even though it's something I never wanted for myself, He knows more than I do, and I'm willing to trust in Him. So here we go!

I am an un[OFFICIAL] missionary.

Unofficially Grateful: Prayer

Ah, November. The month of gratitude. Only a third the way through, and already I have read more than enough "grateful" posts on Facebook. But you know what? It's good. Even if I may be bored of reading them, I really am happy that people take this month to think about all the blessings they have, instead of focusing on everything they don't. It's a good reminder for all of us to remember our blessings and to express gratitude for them - and not only in November. I think sometimes we forget it's okay to be thankful for the rest of the year too.

And now I will hop off that soap box and onto another one.

Prayer. It is a big deal, my friends. And it is most definitely one of the greatest blessings in my life. I have really come to develop a strong testimony of the power of prayer. And along with that comes the knowledge that the Lord knows me, and He cares about me. I know that, because He answers my prayers. Always. The answer doesn't always come right when I want it (I think He's trying to teach me patience, in addition to a multitude of other good qualities I have yet to develop), but it comes.

I wasn't going to bore you with any examples from my life, but jokes on you! I'm totally going to bore you with an example from my life.

My first, really important experience with prayer happened when I was probably about 12. Give or take a year. I used to have a really hard time getting to sleep. I would go to bed nice and early, but if I didn't fall asleep within 15 or 30 minutes, I would start to stress. And then I really couldn't sleep. And then I would really stress. It was a vicious cycle, and it was really hard on me. It was just after the holidays, right before school was ready to start back up. I was suffering a little post-holiday depression, and I was stressing. Big time. It was miserable. I was laying in my bed, trying and trying to sleep, but it just wasn't coming. I prayed, I got up and read my scriptures, I talked to my parents - I did everything I could. But it didn't work. As the clock ticked on and on, my anxiety was building. I was tired, and I was scared. I didn't know what else to do. I got up, and said one more prayer. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to calm down and sleep. After my prayer, I got back into bed and closed my eyes, hoping that it would work. I could hear my mom playing the piano in the living room. I just lay there and listened. Then I recognized what she was playing. It was "Hum Your Favorite Hymn". I hadn't tried that yet, in fact, the idea hadn't even occurred to me. But I had nothing to lose. I decided to give it a go. The first hymn that came to mind was "The Spirit of God". I played the song in my mind, and immediately an immense peace just washed over me. It was an instant change, like turning on a light in a dark room. I felt peace, and comfort, and I knew that it would be okay. I know that Heavenly Father had heard my prayer, and He had answered it. It was an amazing experience. This isn't that big of deal. It wasn't life or death, it wasn't going to change the course of my life. But it mattered to me. When I was having a difficult trial - one that I couldn't deal with on my own - my prayer was answered.

Since then, I have had many other experiences with prayer, and each time, I have been brought closer to my Father in Heaven and my Savior. I know that they know me. And not only do they know me, they love me. Silly little me. Just one soul among billions that have lived and will live on this earth. Isn't that the most amazing thing? As insignificant, and unimportant as I am in the grand scheme of things, they still love me enough to listen to my prayers, and to guide and direct me. It's the most humbling thought. 

Prayer has made all the difference in my life. It's a blessing I can never cease to be grateful for. 

I am un[OFFICIALY] grateful for prayer.

Officially Grateful: Parents

Poor little bloggy, being ignored again. However, the good news is (if there can indeed be good news in a case of an innocent blog being left to its own devices due to a lack of time on the writer's part) I have an excuse. A legitimate one. You see, my parents have been gone for the past week - they occasionally do that. Just go on vacation and leave us home, all on our lonesome. That being said, I have been a very busy bee. Very busy indeed. Their absence meant I got to play poor, exhausted, sleep-deprived college student/carpool driver/brand-spanking new Bennion Craft employee/long-time Gold's Gym employee/strict, rule following and implementing parent/fun sister. Quite a handful. Add to that the stress of doing homework, keeping the house clean, and maintaining the peace - yeah. Quite a week. And at the end of that week, I can look back and say, "Dang. I am glad I don't have to that all the time."

And I am glad I don't have to do that all the time. It was crazy. Seriously crazy. But even crazier is the fact that when my parents got home last night, I wasn't excited that they would be back to do dishes and remember to turn off the lights and lock the doors before bed. Though, yeah, I'm really happy about that too. The thing I was most excited about was being able to talk to them again. I mean, we had a few phone calls and stuff, but it isn't the same, you know? I was just happy they were back because they're my friends. I'm happy my Mom can carpool with me to Weber again, because we have some super fun conversations on our way to and from Ogden. I'm happy my Dad can quote King of Queens and do the Safety Dance with me. 

This being November, I decided it would be appropriate to express my gratitude to my fantastic parents for everything they do for me, and how much I love them. They really are the best. And they are so much more than people to do the dishes and check the locks. They're, dare I say it, fun. Yeah. I have fun parents. And that is just about the coolest thing in the world. I totally don't mind spending a night at home, watching Megamind and playing nertz with my Mom and Dad. They are just that cool. And they're my friends. Cliche? Maybe. But true just the same. I tell them everything. Just as much as I tell my closest friends. I love that we have a relationship where it's okay to talk about things. I just love them. And I'm so happy they're back.

I am [OFFICIALLY] grateful for my parents.

PS - Here's a little sneak preview of what's to come ... Just because I think it's a fantastic idea, but it's not December yet, and it's killing me that I can't just write this post now.

The Classic Christmas Brag Letter.  Supposedly, it's an update on the family. But we all know what it really is. A letter of bragging, detailing all the accomplishments and talents of the family, in a very extreme and might I say boastful fashion. You know the kind. Jimmy is all grown up and off at college, maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and would you believe it, he's the captain of the tennis team! He's also started his own service organization that turns trash into scarves and mittens, which he delivers to the needy in our area. What a great kid! Sabrina is something of a musical prodigy. Only six years old, and she's already written her first symphony! She's also taken up horseback riding and knitting. Of course, she's a genius at both! Poopsie had a litter of beautiful healthy puppies, and we couldn't be happier! This year for Christmas we'll be taking a trip to a small, third world county, where we'll be doing charity work! We can't wait to leave! Make a note of the overuse of exclamation points. No one is this happy. Or perfect. Get real. And of course, this non-specific example is much shorter than a real one. Those babies blather on for pages.

When the Brag Letters start rolling in, me and my fam can't help but laugh at them. No offense. If you are brag letter people, that's fantastic. We are happy for you. But come on now! They're so funny! They make the families sound like peaches and cream, all day, all the time. And we all know it doesn't work that way. Me and my dad have always joked about writing a realistic brag letter. One that shows the good, the bad, and the ugly. Send that out to the neighbors and distant relatives, I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it. If not losing a little respect for you in the process. But this year I decided, what the heck! I'm going to write my very own Brag Letter. A real one. So I guess it's not so much a Brag Letter as a Real Letter. But Brag Letter is more fun to say, so we'll go with that. 

Get ready guys. This is going to be good.